Welcome to part five of my “Show, Don’t Tell” series. This post will focus on (well-written) dialogue.
I’ve mentioned before that dialogue is a tool to show. Our words show a lot about our characters, and dialogue can show a great number of things: personality, emotions, relationships, etc. And readers love dialogue. Nobody likes reading blocks and blocks of text.
For this post, I’m going to use examples of how dialogue can show, and I’ll be using Harry Potter quotes from the books and movies. Let’s begin!
Our personalities affect the words we say. Hot-tempered people are more likely to use negative words while happy-to-go people are more likely to use happy language. If you look at these examples, you can see how the characters’ personalities shine through their dialogue.
The Jerk- Draco Malfoy
“Are you trying to earn some extra money, Weasley? Hoping to be gamekeeper yourself when you leave Hogwarts, I suppose—that hut of Hagrid’s must seem like a palace compared to what your family’s used to.”
–Draco Malfoy, Sorcerer’s Stone, chapter twelve
The Wise– Albus Dumbledore
“Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself.”
–Albus Dumbledore, Sorcerer’s Stone, chapter seventeen
The Quirky–Luna Lovegood
“I don’t think you should be an Auror, Harry,” said Luna unexpectedly. “The Aurors are part of the Rotfang Conspiracy, I thought everyone knew that. They’re working to bring down the Ministry of Magic from within using a combination of Dark Magic and gum disease.”
–Luna Lovegood, Half-Blood Prince, chapter fifteen
The Strict–Professor McGonagall
“Transfiguration is some of the most complex and dangerous magic you will learn at Hogwarts,” [McGonagall] said. “Anyone messing around in my class will leave and not come back. You have been warned.”
–Professor McGonagall, Sorcerer’s Stone, chapter eight
Our emotions can drive our words, and one way to communicate our feelings is through dialogue. In the examples below, you can see how the emotions affect the speaker’s word choice.
“It’s no wonder no one can stand her,” [Ron] said to Harry as they pushed their way into the crowded corridor, “she’s a nightmare, honestly.”
—Ron Weasley, Sorcerer’s Stone, chapter ten
“Ladies and gentlemen,” [Lockhart] said loudly, waving for quiet. “What an extraordinary moment this is! The perfect moment for me to make a little announcement I’ve been sitting on for some time! When young Harry here stepped into Flourish and Blotts today, he only wanted to buy my autobiography—which I shall be happy to present him now, free of charge–” The crowd applauded again. “He had no idea […] that he would shortly be getting much, much more than my book, Magical Me. He and his schoolmates will, in fact, be getting the real magical me […]”
–Gilderoy Lockhart, Chamber of Secrets, chapter four
“I wish people would stop talking behind my back!” said Myrtle, in a voice choked with tears. “I do have feelings, you know, even if I am dead–”
–Moaning Myrtle, Chamber of Secrets, chapter nine
“You know what Harry and Ron are like, wandering off by themselves—they’ve ended up in the Forbidden Forest twice! But Harry mustn’t do that this year! When I think what could have happened to him that night he ran away from home! If the Knight Bus hadn’t picked him up, I’m prepared to bet he would have been dead before the Ministry found him.”
–Arthur Weasley, Prisoner of Azkaban, chapter four
Our relationships with others also affect our dialogue. Dialogue between a mother and her child is quite different from dialogue between a boyfriend and girlfriend. Dialogue can also show the state of a relationship and how we feel about others.
“Having a last meal, Potter? When are you getting the train back to the Muggles?” [said Malfoy.]
“You’re a lot braver now that you’re back on the ground and you’ve got your little friends with you,” said Harry coolly. There was of course nothing at all little about Crabbe and Goyle, but as the High Table was full of teachers, neither of them could do more than crack their knuckles and scowl.
“I’d take you on anytime on my own,” said Malfoy. “Tonight, if you want. Wizard’s duel. Wands only—no contact. What’s the matter? Never heard of a wizard’s duel before, I suppose?”
“Of course he has,” said Ron, wheeling around. “I’m his second, who’s yours?”
–Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter, and Ron Weaslye, Sorcerer’s Stone, chapter nine
(On Platform Nine and Three-Quarters)
“Now, you two—this year, you behave yourselves. If I get one more owl telling me you’ve—you’ve blown up a toilet or–” [said Mrs. Weasley.]
“Blown up a toilet? We’ve never blown up a toilet.” [said one Weasley twin.]
“Great idea though, thanks, Mom.” [said other twin.]
“It’s not funny. And look after Ron.”
“Don’t worry, ickle Ronniekins is safe with us.”
“Shut up,” said Ron again.
–Molly Weasley, Fred Weasley, George Weasley, and Ron Weasley, Sorcerer’s Stone, chapter six.
“Harry—you’re a great wizard, you know.” [said Hermione.]
“I’m not as good as you,” said Harry, very embarrassed, as she let go of him.
“Me!” said Hermione. “Books! And cleverness! There are more important things—friendship and bravery and—oh Harry—be careful!”
Harry Potter and Hermione Granger, Sorcerer’s Stone, chapter sixteen
There’s so much more that dialogue can show. It can show such little things in ways that you may have not noticed. Here are more examples.
“They stuff people’s head down the toilet the first day at Stonewall,” [Dudley] told Harry. “Want to come upstairs and practice?”
“No thanks,” Harry said. “The poor toilet’s never had anything as horrible as your head down it—it might be sick.”
–-Dudley and Harry, Sorcerer’s Stone, chapter three
“Bed empty! No note! Car gone—could have crashed—out of my mind with worry—did you care? —never, as along as I’ve lived—you wait until your father gets home, we never had trouble like this from Bill or Charlie or Percy–” –Molly Weasley, Chamber of Secrets, chapter three
The two examples are very different from each other. The first one shows a conversation that only children would have, or at least I hope adults don’t talk about sticking each other’s heads down the toilet.
There’s no surprise that the second example comes from a parent—someone who is an adult. It’s hard to imagine a child or teenager saying this, so the second example shows the character is an adult.
Characters’ ages affect dialogue, and the dialogue can shows age.
“Hello, I’m Rita Skeeter! I write for the Daily Prophet. But, of course, you know that, don’t you? It’s you we don’t know. You’re the juicy news. What quirks lurk beneath those rosy cheeks? What mysteries do the muscles mask? Does courage lie behind those curls? In short, what makes a champion tick? Me, myself, and I want to know. Not to mention my ravid readers.”
–Rita Skeeter, Goblet of Fire movie
“The Ministry of Magic has always considered the education of young witches and wizards to be of a vital importance. Although each headmaster has brought something new to this… historical school, progress for the sake of progress must be discouraged. Let us preserve what must be preserved, prefect what can be perfected and prune practices that ought to be… prohibited!”
—Dolores Umbridge, Order of Phoenix movie
As you can see from these two examples, a journalist and a bureaucrat speak differently from each other. Rita’s words show she is a journalist, and Umbridge’s words show that she’s a bureaucrat.
That’s all for this post. If you wish to leave your favorite Harry Potter quotes, feel free to add them in the comments below.
Show, Don’t Tell Series:
Part 1- Show, Don’t Tell: An Introduction
Part 3- Show, Don’t Tell: Emotions, Moods, and Reactions
Part 4- Show, Don’t Tell: Setting, Physical Traits, and Descriptions
Part 5- Show, Don’t Tell: Dialogue
Part 6- Show, Don’t Tell: Good Telling
Part 7- Show, Don’t Tell: Tell, Then Show